What Jack Did
by Jennifer Lynn Weston
Summary: Retelling of a humorous East European folktale, whose protagonist bears a strong resemblance to Jack Sparrow. General audience.


_'Pirates of the Caribbean' belongs to Disney._

_This story does not fit into any particular place on the PotC continuum. It's just a little confection I whipped up for the fun of it._

_xxx_

Will's feet were starting to drag with weariness, as he strove to keep up with Jack. They'd had a long trudge over country roads today, as they would tomorrow, before they finally reached the harbor where the _Black Pearl_ awaited them.

So it was a great relief to him, when a warmly lit inn appeared around a bend in the road. But as they drew near, Will was dismayed to note the number of fine carriages drawn up beside the gray stone building. "They might not have any room for us here, Jack."

The older man flashed a confident smirk. "Don't you worry about that, lad. Captain Jack'll handle it."

Sparrow assumed an audacious stride as they approached the entrance. Jack flipped a grin and coin to the doorkeeper, who admitted them at once.

Sparrow led the way to the crowded tavern, going right up to the sour-visaged bartender. "Two tankards of your best rum, if ye'll be so kind, luv."

The surly face got surlier. "I'm all outta rum, ya wharf rat."

"Now, I can't believe a fine establishment such as this doesn't keep any in storage. Jus' be be a good chap anу fetch it, because the last time somebody in yer position refused me rum..." Jack's fingers drummed on his sword handle, "... I don't like to think about what I did."

The bartender gave the sword a hard look. "Verra well." He disappeared down a cellar doorway, emerging a minute later with a cask balanced against his hip.

The two thirsty travelers quickly gulped their tankards. Will had just set his down, when his stomach produced an embarrassingly loud growl.

"Next things next, whelp. Let's go get some grub." Jack steered the younger man towards an adjacent door, through which wonderful scents wafted.

Will took a glance at the elegant company within, and balked. "Jack, that's the gentlemen's dining room. They're not likely to serve either of us in there."

"Nonsense!" Jack hurried them over to a small table with two chairs, close by the big fireplace. A bullying waiter immediately accosted them.

"See now, you two can't eat in here!"

"None o' that, mate! We're payin' customers with powerful appetites. You just bring us a big slab of roast beef, with gravy an' bread, because the last time someone refused me service..." Jack stroked his pistol, "... I don't like to think about what I did."

The waiter blanched. "Yes sir. Right away, sir." The other patrons looked at them askance, but Jack and Will paid them no mind, as they devoured the delicious fare. Warm, and with a full stomach, Will found himself yawning.

"Time we got some shuteye," Jack agreed. He and Will made their way to the front desk, where the portly innkeeper eyed them haughtily.

"We'll be wantin' a room with two beds, my good man. An' some clean wash water in the mornin'."

The innkeeper sniffed. "I'm sorry, but we're already full for the night. You'll have to try your luck at the next inn, three leagues further west."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "I don't think so, mate. Because ya see, I know how your profession operates. You've got at least one vacant chamber set aside, in the event some upper-class patron comes in later tonight. Well, ye'll jus' have ta consider us honorary aristocrats, because the last time someone refused me a room... " Jack's hands rested lightly on both his sword and pistol, "... I _really_ don't like to think about what I did!"

The innkeeper gulped hard. "Then... I'll see what I can do."

Several minutes later, Jack and Will were happily snuggled down on soft feather mattresses, under clean white linens and thick wool blankets.

But, fatigued though he was, Will realized he was also burning with curiosity about something. Raising himself on one elbow, he asked, "Jack, I'm really grateful you pulled that off. But tell me; just what was it you did, the last time somebody refused you rum, food and lodging?"

Jack looked up from his own the pillow, lips curling into a small, smug grin.

"Why, I bedded down outside an' went to sleep hungry. That's what I did!"

xxx

**FINIS**


End file.
